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Urban legends have been around for centuries and in most cases, we understand that they’re just stories. Everyone knows about Slender Man, the hook guy, the babysitter call from inside the house, and the axe murderer in the back seat, and dismisses them as such. We know they’re fake, so I’m not gonna bring them up.
But these urban legends. They’re just as old, but surprisingly, still have a lot of traction today. People still bring them up as gospel truth online and in person, and will argue their reality until they’re blue in the face.
Except, my uninformed friend, they’re bullshit too.
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Mr. Rogers was a Navy SEAL
Apparently, he was a SEAL sniper in Vietnam, and a deadly one too. After the war, to atone for atrocities, he became the persona of Mr. Fred Rogers. That’s why he so nice and insistent that we be kid to one another, and wears lots of sweaters to cover up his military tattoos.
Apparently, he was a SEAL sniper in Vietnam, and a deadly one too. After the war, to atone for atrocities, he became the persona of Mr. Fred Rogers. That’s why he so nice and insistent that we be kid to one another, and wears lots of sweaters to cover up his military tattoos.
In reality, he never served. But people still claim ‘cover-up’ and insist that his service record is so redacted, that we’ll never know he was a deadly badass.
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This was a huge urban legend when I was a kid, and I figured that kids today would have other things that terrify them, but no. Kids still say Bloody Mary in dark mirrors and expect to get the bejesus scared out of them.
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JFK and his Jelly Donut
In this day and age of Google translate and language nuances, you’d think we could put this one to rest. Back in the 60’s, JFK went to Germany in an attempt to connect with the German people. During a speech, he told the people “Ich bin ein Berliner” or “I am a Berliner.” Except, a ‘berliner’ is a type of German pastry.
In this day and age of Google translate and language nuances, you’d think we could put this one to rest. Back in the 60’s, JFK went to Germany in an attempt to connect with the German people. During a speech, he told the people “Ich bin ein Berliner” or “I am a Berliner.” Except, a ‘berliner’ is a type of German pastry.
According to the urban legend, he was laughed off the stage, embarrassed himself in front of the Germans and lost credibility as a leader. Except, the truth is, no one laughed and the audience completely understood him and respected that statement.
But there’s still that one guy who knows politics at a party, who’ll try to convince you otherwise.
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The Dissolving Tooth
As the legend goes, if you leave a tooth in a cup of Coke overnight, by the morning, it’ll be completely dissolved. Totally not true.
As the legend goes, if you leave a tooth in a cup of Coke overnight, by the morning, it’ll be completely dissolved. Totally not true.
Yes, over time it will stain and break down the tooth, but it won’t be within 24 hours, and it won’t make it disappear like it ratted out the Mafia or something.
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Walt Disney is cryogenically frozen
No matter how many times people try to debunk this, it still persists. According to the legend, Walt had his body (or just his head) frozen, in order to be reanimated in the future when the technology existed to do so.
No matter how many times people try to debunk this, it still persists. According to the legend, Walt had his body (or just his head) frozen, in order to be reanimated in the future when the technology existed to do so.
Except, there is irrefutable evidence that Disney was definitely cremated in 1966 and won’t ever be coming back.
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The NYC sewer gators
Even though no one’s ever seen it happen, and none of the city’s workers have ever witnessed it, apparently gators live in the sewers of New York.
Even though no one’s ever seen it happen, and none of the city’s workers have ever witnessed it, apparently gators live in the sewers of New York.
It’s one of those legends of a person bringing an illegal animal (in this case from Florida) to New York, then realizing that they’re too big and scary, and releasing them into the toilets.
This started in 1930 and hasn’t stopped since.
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The Vanishing Hitchhiker
This is one of the oldest urban legends still being told, and it’s still being circulated in honesty. People still believe that this happened to a friend of a friend of a friend.
This is one of the oldest urban legends still being told, and it’s still being circulated in honesty. People still believe that this happened to a friend of a friend of a friend.
But the tale of a lonely motorist, picking up a female hitchhiker on a lonely road, and upon taking her home, finds out that she’s a) disappeared and b) died years previously on that lonely stretch of road.
Never happened, bro.
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The Kidney Thief
This urban legend started gaining popularity in 1997, and supposedly has businessmen and horny dudes waking up in a bathtub full of ice, with a burner phone and a note saying to call 911. Oh, and thanks for the kidney.
This urban legend started gaining popularity in 1997, and supposedly has businessmen and horny dudes waking up in a bathtub full of ice, with a burner phone and a note saying to call 911. Oh, and thanks for the kidney.
On the plus side, this story sound plausible enough to be true, so the National Kidney Foundation, as well as hospitals and services all over the world, asked victims to contact them. If there really were kidney thieves out there, this was a huge deal.
No one ever called, nor has any cases of this happening been independently verified.
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The official religion of the Jedi
There’s a prevalent legend going around that if enough people indicate “Jedi” as their religious affiliation on a census form, the government will have to make it an official religion. This got so much traction that thousands of people actually tried to do it. Except, nothing happened.
There’s a prevalent legend going around that if enough people indicate “Jedi” as their religious affiliation on a census form, the government will have to make it an official religion. This got so much traction that thousands of people actually tried to do it. Except, nothing happened.
There are many steps into making a religion official, but mass hysteria and checking off a box on a form isn’t gonna cut it.
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Usa, Japan
You probably don’t know that there’s a town in Japan called Usa. But despite the urban legends out there, it wasn’t named by the USA after WWII as a ‘fuck you’ to Japan, nor was it named by Japan so that they could legitimately say “Made in USA.”
You probably don’t know that there’s a town in Japan called Usa. But despite the urban legends out there, it wasn’t named by the USA after WWII as a ‘fuck you’ to Japan, nor was it named by Japan so that they could legitimately say “Made in USA.”
It’s just a city in Ōita Prefecture. Nothing more.
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The poisonous Daddy Long Legs
Have you ever heard this one? Apparently, the Daddy Long Legs spider (which isn’t really spider), is the most poisonous in the world, but cannot kill humans due to it’s fangs being too small.
Have you ever heard this one? Apparently, the Daddy Long Legs spider (which isn’t really spider), is the most poisonous in the world, but cannot kill humans due to it’s fangs being too small.
Except, this is a huge cobweb of bullshit. If you see a Black Widow, Brown Recluse or Funnel Web, then run. But a Daddy Long Legs? Just leave it alone.
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The Clown Statue
I know I said I wasn’t gonna mention any of the traditional stories, but I haven’t heard of this one, but it’s still a relatively common tale.
I know I said I wasn’t gonna mention any of the traditional stories, but I haven’t heard of this one, but it’s still a relatively common tale.
As the story goes, a babysitter calls the parents to ask if she could cover up or move a clown statue in the kids room, as it’s scaring them. Dad says, to grab the kids, call 911 and leave; they don’t have a clown statue.
Also, the kids had been complaining of a clown watching them, but the parents had dismissed it as a nightmare. Once the cops arrive, they find a midget, dressed as a clown, who’s been living in the house and watching the kids. When the babysitter got there, he didn’t have time to hide, so he froze in place.
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The Fatal Hair Wrap
Though the hairstyle changes in the story, the details are still the same. A girl who wants to retain a very specific hairstyle, decides to either wash her hair, or spray her hair, with sugar water and wraps it in a towel to set overnight. The next morning, she doesn’t come down for breakfast.
Though the hairstyle changes in the story, the details are still the same. A girl who wants to retain a very specific hairstyle, decides to either wash her hair, or spray her hair, with sugar water and wraps it in a towel to set overnight. The next morning, she doesn’t come down for breakfast.
When her parents investigate, they find her dead in bed. Upon unwrapping her hair, it’s apparent that she’s been gnawed to death by rats; all the way into her brain.
Never, ever happened. Nope, no way.
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The dead body under the hotel mattress
This one should so obviously be false, right? I mean, how hard is it to detect a dead body in a hotel room prior to guests checking in. Apparently, really fucking hard.
This one should so obviously be false, right? I mean, how hard is it to detect a dead body in a hotel room prior to guests checking in. Apparently, really fucking hard.
There have been over 5 documented cases all over the US, where a couple or businessman has checked into a room, and been assaulted by a foul door. To their horror, they find a dead body under the bed, and all sorts of scented dryer sheets, car air fresheners and whatnot, all over to keep the smell hidden.
What the actual fuck?
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