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Was doing a rewatch of Home Alone over the weekend and I realized something; Uncle Frank isn’t okay. There was something about him, that just didn’t sit right on this 1000th rewatch, and I started to wonder if there was more to him than we know. I mean, he’s getting a free trip, free pizza and gets to spend Christmas with his family. Why’s he such a dick? Then, I stumbled across this theory.
Frank was a huge asshat because he’s a criminal, and was about to set in motion a huge caper, to ruin his brother. What’s the caper, you ask? The robberies of several homes in the McCallister’s neighbourhood. What if Uncle Frank was the mastermind behind the robbery and attempted manslaughter of Kevin?
Whoa.
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It’s no surprise to anyone who’s watched the movie relentlessly, that Uncle Frank is a cheapskate who won’t financially contribute to anything. He’s getting a paid vacation, but won’t chip in for pizza. He even says “it’s my brothers house, he’ll take care of it.” The theory fixates on those words; “My BROTHER’S HOUSE. He’ll TAKE CARE of it.” Who’s he talking to? The Pizza guy?
No, he’s talking to Harry, dressed as a cop. He’s basically saying “you see this house, it belongs to my brother and I want you to fuck it up.” Odds are, he’s noticed the criminals casing the neighbourhood, and offered Marv and Harry some guaranteed money to make sure that Peter McCallister’s house was hit
But that wasn’t it. He also hired Harry and Marv to take out Kevin.
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First, he tries to get everyone in a panic about when they need to leave in the am. When Fuller asks what time they’re all getting up, Frank bursts in with an “Early. We’re leaving at 8a.m. on the dot!” Why would he say that, if it’s not even his trip that he planned? The answer is to get everyone in bed early.
Once everyone is in bed, he hoped that everyone would forget about Kevin and leave him behind. Then he set about the next part of the plan.
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He started with the cheese pizza, making sure Buzz and everyone else had their fill of it. He knew this would drive Kevin insane. Then he placed the milk beside the tickets, and arranged them artfully so that Kevin’s would get misplaced. Then, to make sure Kevin got punished, he called him a little Jerk and bullied him (and his brother) into getting Kevin banished where he’d be forgotten.
Most other dads would punch their brother in the face for calling their kid a jerk, but not Peter. He seems to be afraid of/intimidated by Frank and Frank knows this. Hence, the random punishment.
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The next part of the plan is the power. There’s no storm, or lightning or anything, just a random branch that falls on the power lines. What’s on the other end of that branch? It could be cut, or Frank and his fat ass could be sitting on it until it breaks.
If you dust that piece of wood, you’d find Frank’s cheesy fingers all over it.
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When it’s the next morning and everyone’s freaking out, Frank subtly manipulates everything so that they get out the door asap, and if they do a head count, who’s to say that Frank didn’t step out of the house earlier and invite the neighbour kid to come check out the vans? You can’t say that he didn’t.
Then he got back inside and let one of the older kids do the proper count. When the right number is accounted for, the neighbour leaves and the adults come out of the house; the only ones that would know that things might be amiss. Odd are, Frank was distracting them indoors with his insane shenanigans.
Dude’s a cold hearted bastard.
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There’s also this episode. He’s sitting in the first class seat his brother paid for, and he’s attempting to steal crystal. Obviously, the airline is gonna realize that it’s missing and who are they gonna blame? Not Frank, as he didn’t pay for the tickets. It’s gonna fall in Peter’s lap. He doesn’t care who he hurts.
But then, the unexpected happens on the plane; Kate realizes then, that they forgot Kevin. This is sooner than Frank expected, and he slips up.
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In order to make Kate and Peter feel better, he says: “If it makes you feel any better, I forgot my reading glasses.” What? You’re comparing the life of a kid to your fucking bifocals? This guy is so disconnected from human emotions and decency, on account of being a hardened conman and criminal.
Who the hell knows what he’s got against Kevin, but there is that deleted scene where he pants’ his nephew. It’s kinda gross and pervy, if you ask me.
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Upon landing, Frank goes to set his plan in motion under the pretence of calling everyone back home. Remember when Kate gives Aunt Leslie her address book and tells her and Frank to call everyone on it. A few minutes later, she comes back too ay they’ve called everyone, but Frank’s still on the phone.
Who’s he talking to?
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Except here’s the kicker. He’s calling Harry and Marv to let them know that the coast is clear for a robbery, but he’s deliberately, not telling them about Kevin. This way, they stumble upon him, have to kill him in the progress of their robbery, and he won’t have to pay extra for a hit, because he “didn’t know.” He’s that cheap.
Then, he figures he’s in the clear, because what’s an 8 year old kid gonna do?
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Frankly, he’s ready to celebrate and while everyone else is exhausted and worried, he’s handing out jumbo shrimp. He’s gloating over the perfect crime and couldn’t be happier that his younger brother (who he’s clearly jealous of), will be left with a violated home and a dead son.
Why go to all these lengths? Well, there is this Reddit theory that Peter McCallister is a criminal and/or is in the mob. How else can he afford to take everyone on a trip, and have a $1.5 Million house? Maybe Frank’s got a little power move in mind to take over the family business?
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After we learn what’s happened, we never see Frank on screen again. Why? Because he’s working hard behind the scenes. Ask yourself, after seeing Kevin inside the house, and going through the injuries they did, why persist? There are other houses on the street that wouldn’t be as much hassle. Why still try for the McCallisters?
Your first instinct would be to suggest that it’s because Kevin can identify them, but there’s more than that. The theory suggests they’re being paid to knock off the house and Frank threatens them with the knowledge that Kevin will ruin them if he lives.
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This is why they go from mere thieves to full on murderers. It’s a far stretch to go from a B&E, to full on psychological torture and threat of murder, but Marv and Harry go to some lengths to explain how they’re gonna slowly hurt Kevin. Sure, they’ve been hurt, but killing a kid takes true evil, or true desperation.
If they don’t do what Frank says, they’ll end up in jail for sure. Luckily enough, the criminals are idiots and Kevin’s a lucky SOB.
Plus, there’s that guy with the shovel.
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Then, in the end, where’s Frank? The rest of the family makes it home and reunites with Kevin, except for Uncle Frank. He’s so disgusted with his failed plan, that he doesn’t show face. He can’t handle his failure, and is sulking somewhere.
Yet, a year later, he’s gotten over it enough for a second free trip.
You’re a monster, Uncle Frank!
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