1
My two year old stroked a flight attendant’s behind with both hands as she was shifting something in the overhead bin next to our seat. Her skirt was very tight fitting, right in front of his face, and I guess he just thought it looked nice to touch.
She whipped her head around at lightspeed with a glare to send the offender up in flames. When she saw it was just a toddler and I apologized she looked relieved and laughed. The way she reacted, though, made me think she probably has that happen way too often by grown gross dudes. :(
– u/mokayemo
– u/mokayemo
2
When I was 5 or so I went to a baseball game with my dad and he wouldn’t let me get popcorn. I really wanted popcorn. I walked away and sat on a random man’s lap + started eating his popcorn.
I closed my eyes and pretended like I thought it was my father “like oh dad you got popcorn thanks” because my child mind thought my dad would believe I thought it was him and wouldn’t get mad. I don’t think that would be very cute as a 21 year old.
– u/fuzzysoftworm
– u/fuzzysoftworm
3
Taking shortcuts through ppls yards. Those were the days.
– u/brandnewdayinfinity
– u/brandnewdayinfinity
4
Saying they want to marry their mom or dad. YIKES.
– u/poorasheck
– u/poorasheck
5
As Ray Romano said: “When your kid discovers he can get an erection for the first time and runs out of the bathtub going ‘pee pee big! pee pee big!’ it is cute and all. When grandpa does it it is sad and disturbing. But grandpa has more reason to be happy.”
– u/passed_turing_test
– u/passed_turing_test
6
This Halloween just passed, a colleague of mine was at home with her partner. When suddenly there was a kid dressed as a pumpkin in their hall. The kid had just opened the door, walked in, and started looking around. Scared the shit out of them.
– u/StormRider
– u/StormRider
7
My friend, when he was just crawling apparently, was at a beach with his Mum. She looked away for a second and he’d crawled over to a nearby topless sunbather sleeping on her back and tried to suckle on her.
Obviously she screamed and it didn’t get far, but after much embarrassment they did all laugh it off.
As an adult? That’s probably prison time. Even as a literal baby it could have been much worse depending on the woman’s response.
– u/Anzai
– u/Anzai
8
When they ask a question and follow it by saying ” dont say no” or…. When they wait outside your bathroom door asking details of what youre doing in there like ” do you have a penis or two butts???”
– u/Cheriearie
– u/Cheriearie
9
My 3 year old ran up to a large man with a shirt too small for his body at a bbq joint in Chicago and gave him a big hug. He though it was cute and he walked away.
When I asked her why she hugged him she told me “so I could lick him.”
She licked the mans underbelly.
– u/Hammthighs
– u/Hammthighs
10
A baby can drink a bottle and fall asleep and it’s cute when I drink a bottle and go to sleep I got problems.
– u/sourkid
– u/sourkid
11
My mom always loved to tell how when I was first being potty trained, when I had to go number two, I would pull my pants down in the living room before trotting to use the toilet, pants around ankles. Something tells me it wouldn’t go over as well now.
– u/jrm525
– u/jrm525
12
Playing doctor.
– u/Feel_the_Bern
– u/Feel_the_Bern
13
When a kid draws on the wall, sometimes people will think it’s cute and creative. When an adult draws on the wall, it’s called vandalism.
– u/junebug-jamboree
– u/junebug-jamboree
14
When my brother was 5 and we had one of our voluptuous neighbors over, he went over to her and palmed both of her breasts and said “you’ve got big ones neighbour” in Portuguese.
– u/andrefiguiera
– u/andrefiguiera
15
Whipping down your pants and having a pee anywhere you like.
– u/Senepicmar
– u/Senepicmar
16
Opening lemonade stands on the side of the road.
– u/Victorious
– u/Victorious
17
Sticking your head under ladies dresses
– u/ChuckChuckMoeMuck
– u/ChuckChuckMoeMuck
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